was Dez’s kind sperm donation that helped create little tortilla face over there.”
Ken smiled at the little girl. “Hmm...this is quite a byzantine ruse you’ve constructed here. I betthe whole thing’s exhausting.”
“It is.” Lily didn’t realize how exhausted she was until Ken made that observation. It was onlynow, while she was relaxing in the company of a person with whom she and Ben could be honest, that shefully realized how strained and tiring their other social interactions were. It was only in the presence ofother gay people that she and Ben could relax and be a family — the kind of family they really were.
“Yeah,” Ben said, “in Atlanta I used to bitch all the time about the little dramas going on in the gaycommunity ... all the backbiting and gossip. Now that I’m away from all the gossip, though, it’s like I’mdying for some. I find myself calling all the shallow queens I used to bitch about just so I can find outwho’s lusting after whom.”
Ken laughed. “I do the same thing with my friends back in Nashville. I also find myselfvoraciously reading those glossy fag rags I used to make fun of when I lived in the city.”
Lily drained her Corona. “Where do you get those magazines around here?”
Ken grinned sheepishly. “The mailman delivers them ... in a plain brown wrapper, no less. I saveall the back issues. If you like, I could bring over the ones I’ve read.”
“You know, I’m scaring myself, but I think I’d really like that,” Ben said, rising to clear the table.
“Me, too.” Lily was helping Mimi out of her high chair. “I’m starved to death for news about mypeople ... even if it’s just idle chatter about who’s shtupping who.” A prickle of fear hit her. “Of course,we’d have to be careful not to leave those magazines lying around. God, I hate this! It makes me feel soself-loathing, even though I’m not.”
They settled in the living room. Lily had to coax Mordecai off the couch with a Milk-Bone. Sincehis injury, he had made the couch his own personal sickbed. He would make room for Lily or Mimi to sitwith him, but he growled ill-temperedly at Ben or anyone else who tried to join him there.
“You know,” Ken said, sitting on the couch next to Ben and draping his arm around Ben’sshoulders, “when Ben told me what you were doing, I really objected to it at first. It seemed to me thatyou were just catering to other people’s prejudices.” He watched Mimi stacking her wooden alphabetblocks. “But then I started thinking: If you fought the custody battle as an open lesbian, you’d lose your