| and must swim across or drown. You see there was just that element of impending disaster to give a serious side, a sober side, yes, a tragic side, to a state of things which would otherwise have been purely ridiculous. In the night, in the dark, the tragedy part was always to the front, and always warning, always threatening; and so I moaned and tossed, and sleep was hard to find. But in the cheerful daylight the tragedy element faded out and disappeared, and I walked on air, and was happy to giddiness, to intoxication, you may say. | постоянно совал мне в долг деньги. И отказать ему было невозможно. И вот я, бедняк бедняком, имел теперь деньги, которые мог тратить. Зажил я, как богач! Конечно, мысль о том, что скоро будет крах, неоднократно приходила мне в голову. Но меня уже вынесло в открытое море и дороги назад не было. Мне оставалось, либо плыть по течению, либо тонуть. И если бы впереди не маячило крушение, происходящее казалось бы просто большой нелепостью. Ночью, в темноте, эта трагическая часть не давала мне покоя, угрожала и предостерегала. Я метался, стонал и совсем не мог спать. Но при благожелательном свете дня все горести уходили на второй план, и я словно парил в облаках. Был счастлив до головокружения, до потери пульса. |
| And it was natural; for I had become one of the notorieties of the metropolis of the world, and it turned my head, not just a little, but a good deal. You could not take up a newspaper, English, Scotch, or Irish, without finding in it one or more references to the "vest-pocket million-pounder" and his latest doings and saying. At first, in these mentions, I was at the bottom of the personal-gossip column; next, I was listed above the knights, next above the baronets, next above the barons, and so on, and so on, climbing steadily, as my notoriety augmented, until I reached the highest altitude possible, and there I remained, taking precedence of all dukes not royal, and of all ecclesiastics except the primate of all England. But mind, this was not fame; as yet I had achieved only notoriety. Then came the climaxing stroke - the accolade, so to speak -which in a single instant transmuted the perishable dross of notoriety into the enduring gold of fame: Punch caricatured me! Yes, I was a made man now; my place was established. I might be joked about still, but reverently, not hilariously, not rudely; I could be smiled at, but not laughed at. The time for that had gone by. Punch pictured me all aflutter with rags, dickering with a beef-eater for the Tower of London. Well, you can imagine how it was with a young fellow who had never been taken notice of before, and now all of a sudden couldn't say a thing that wasn't taken up and repeated everywhere; couldn't stir abroad without constantly overhearing the remark flying from lip to lip, "There he goes; that's him!" couldn't take his breakfast without a |