“I’m dying to give you the chance to find
out.”
“I wish I didn’t have to do this.” Emily
kissed her lightly, and with more strength than she’d ever known she possessed,
braced both hands on Derian’s shoulders and carefully climbed off her lap. Her
legs were shaking. Everything inside her quivered. She hadn’t been kidding. She
wouldn’t have minded fast at all. If Derian touched her right now, she was
pretty sure she would come. But if Derian wanted slow, then they’d do slow,
sometime. If she didn’t think about it, if she didn’t give in to the tiny
kernel of panic that kept threatening to swell into reason and make her run,
far and fast. If she didn’t think about what they were doing or what it might
mean.
Derian frowned. “Whatever you’re thinking
about, stop.”
“What do you mean? I wasn’t really thinking
of anything.” Emily stepped back and busied herself pouring the tea. “How could
I be? You tend to make me brainless.”
“No,” Derian said quietly, opening the bakery
bag. “A minute ago you weren’t thinking at all, and you wanted me. Then you
started worrying. Don’t do that.”
“I don’t know if I can stop,” Emily said
carefully, taking two plates from the tray and setting one in front of each of
their places at the table. She sat across from Derian, grateful not to have to
stand any longer when her legs still threatened to desert her. “I’m a planner.
I’m not spontaneous. I like to know the consequences, or at least the
possibilities, before I rush into something.”
“I didn’t get you cookies, but I thought you
might like scones.” Derian placed a cinnamon scone with a swirl of white
frosting on the top in front of Emily.
“It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Derian fixed her with her heavy-lidded,
languorous gaze. “Don’t overthink your feelings. There’s some things you can’t
know until they happen. You can’t call the shot until the card is played.
Sometimes you just have to gamble.”
“I’m not much of a gambler.”
“Sure you are. You took a chance coming to
this country, you took a chance contacting Henrietta, and you took an even
bigger chance setting your stakes at the agency. You’re winning all of those.
Trust your instincts. You’re a winner.”
“There isn’t a single thing about going to
bed with you that resembles any of those choices.” Emily broke off a piece of
scone. It was delicious, but after Derian’s kisses, not enough to satisfy.
Derian grinned. “I’m very glad to hear I have
more appeal than Winfield’s. I’d like to think I’m a lot more exciting.”
“Oh, I think I can safely say that you are.”
Emily took a breath. “I’m not really sure we should go any further, though.”