‘She lied-’
‘Yes, but she didn’t force Olivia to take the stuff, did she?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘She’d no idea it’d cause any harm, or she’d not have taken it herself,’ Rachel said.
‘OK,’ Janet agreed.
‘She got help as soon as she could, yes?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘So, it was an accident, you have to tell her that. How could she have known? No one could,’ Rachel said.
‘She’s so hard on other people, she’ll be the same with herself.’
‘Can’t think where she gets that from,’ Rachel said.
Janet put her glass down. ‘I’m not hard.’
‘Sure you are. Principled, you’d call it, conscientious.’
‘Fair-minded, maybe,’ Janet countered.
‘If you like. Keep my seat warm.’
Janet watched Rachel head off for a smoke. She was right. Horrible and tragic though Olivia’s death was, it was an accident, but Janet didn’t know how on earth she’d get Elise to accept that. Dorothy wasn’t helping matters. She regarded drug use with the same unreserved horror others might have for bestiality or cannibalism.
‘It’s part of the landscape,’ Janet tried to tell her. ‘Everyone who tries it doesn’t end up addicted to crack cocaine or turning tricks to fund a heroin habit.’
‘Some will,’ her mother had retorted. ‘You never messed about with drugs, did you?’
‘Only Librium and Mogadon,’ Janet said dryly.
‘Don’t be flip,’ Dorothy said. ‘You were ill. I mean for kicks.’
‘No, Mum, but these days I’d be a rare exception.’
Ade hadn’t said much at all up to that point but he chipped in, ‘She needs to take responsibility for her actions.’
‘How exactly?’ Janet demanded. ‘She’s torn apart with guilt, she’s lost her best friend. How does she take responsibility for that?’
He had evaded the question, he was blustering, and she saw that. He was worried for Elise, felt terrible about Olivia, but he didn’t know how to deal with it so he was talking rubbish. ‘I never wanted her to go in the first place.’
‘She’s too young,’ Dorothy had said.
‘We’re not doing this,’ Janet had said. ‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it gets us absolutely nowhere. They went. It happened.’ Any further discussion was postponed by the arrival of Taisie, who had been sitting with Elise in a rare show of sisterliness.
Now Rachel came back into the pub smelling of cold air and tobacco smoke.
‘Has she been interviewed?’ she asked.
‘In the morning,’ Janet said.
‘It’s a lead story.’ Rachel showed Janet her phone. The tabloid headline: LEGAL AND LETHAL. OLIVIA’S TRAGIC DEATH.
Janet looked at the photo, the face she’d known so well. It wasn’t fair. That poor girl. Oh God. ‘Tell me about work, tell me something else, distract me.’