This stood as the final gripping entry for 1967. The entries for 1968 were few and far between, and they were exclusively in connection with Harald Olesen’s personal problems.
18 January: Bad day. Stayed in bed with pains all morning. N wants even more money, in my will too, now. Powerful emotions after a conversation with J yesterday. And the menacing figure of D looms constantly in the background…
22 January: O got in touch, was worried about my health. I promised to take all our secrets with me to the grave. Evil shall with evil be expelled! O looked through the papers and then we burned them in the stove. We did not talk about personal differences, but O seemed remarkably relaxed about it all.
28 January: Intense physical pain, but the psychological pain is worse. Cannot see a solution. Massive doubts regarding the issue of the will.
14 February: Frightful conversation with D, who suddenly went into a rage, as he often does. D does not want money, but wants eternal silence – and the old hate for me is growing ever stronger. No person on earth frightens me more than D. May the Lord I have never believed in soon open His gates and grant my soul mercy!
19 February: Short conversation with O, who thanked me for what I have done and promised not to bother me again. But can I believe that?
1 March: J desperate and impatient, threatening to go to the press. Cannot bear to think what D might do then – either to me or J. Managed to persuade J to delay, but the ground is burning beneath my feet, and the pain is searing my wretched old body.
12 March: Still alive, if only just. J vacillates between tears and rage, could break and do something rash. D did not get angry during our last conversation, but rather was threatening and ominously calm, as only D can be… N constantly pestering for money. I fear D more than I despise N. Tussle with hugely mixed feelings regarding J. N and J may possibly know about one another now. Only hope that neither of them knows about D, and that D does not know about them. Or else all hell might break loose in Torshov!
20 March: Changed the will under considerable duress. A debt must always be paid, after all, no matter how loathsome the creditor.
25 March: After several sleepless nights on the edge of my grave, I have changed my will again. Everything shall be sacrificed on the altar of my greatest sin!
30 March: Pressure increasing from all quarters. Could bump into J, D and N at any moment. All three are threatening and erratic. The evil spirits from my past are crowding me into my grave. Will let the will stand as it is and hope that it will bring happiness to the one I have failed the most. In desperation, have called a final meeting on Thursday evening, despite the obvious risks.