Anton Hansen was on the verge of tears now. The memories from after the war seemed to be more of a burden than those from the war. His voice was almost a whisper and trembled when he finally continued.
‘Later, I have often thought that I should have said no the first time that Harald Olesen asked if I wanted to work for the Resistance and hide a refugee. I bitterly regret it now when I see the consequences it has had for my wife and children. But if Norway were to be occupied again and Harald Olesen was standing by the kitchen table asking me to help my country by hiding refugees, I still wouldn’t say no. How could I?’
I nodded with as much sympathy as I could muster.
‘Of course not. You made a great contribution to this country and its people, and no one could have foreseen what the consequences would be.’
He smiled for a moment, but this was followed by another spasm and a shadow once again fell over his face.
‘It’s strange how differently we cope with things. No one can predict it. There were children and young women who came home after years in a concentration camp and apparently managed to deal with it easily. They are still happily alive today. Whereas I, a big mature man, never got over those four days in the prison camp. Even here in the hospital, I can be woken in the middle of the night by the Germans storming in, or knocking out my teeth, or I am standing in front of the firing squad. Faces come back to me constantly, whether I am awake or asleep. And often it is the terrified young couple with the baby.’
His persistent use of the word ‘baby’ reminded me of an unresolved question.
‘Do you know if the child was a boy or a girl?’
He gave a feeble shake of the head.
‘Neither my wife nor I was certain about it afterwards, strangely enough. It was important to know and remember as little as possible. The child was only a few months old and in nappies, so it wasn’t easy to tell. I think it was a girl, but I am not sure.’
‘And you have no idea where Harald Olesen drove them?’
He moaned quietly and shook his head.
‘No. Unfortunately, he didn’t say. We were not supposed to know that sort of thing, but I think…’
He was seized by a coughing fit again. I felt guilty about pressing the skin-and-bones man in the bed for any more now, but could not leave without hearing the rest of the story.
‘I don’t think he intended to go straight to the border. The Germans kept a strict guard on the roads and there were lots of soldiers in the border region, so the shortest way was often the most dangerous. And it wouldn’t be easy to smuggle two adults and a baby through the roadblocks. I think rather that he took them out into the forest, on foot.’