said, beaming.
And a blushing bride Lily was, with a baby in one arm and a tacky plastic bouquet in the other,wearing her Good Vibrations T-shirt, cutoff Levi’s, and Doc Martens. If there were a magazine calledPostmodern Bride, she would be its cover girl.
“Ben McGilly, do you take this woman, Lily Fox, to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and tohold, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?” Frank droned. Clearly this ceremony wasno more magical for him than it was for the bride and groom.
“Sure, okay,” Ben said. “I do.”
“Lily Fox, do you take this man, Ben McGilly. ...” While Frank finished his litany, Lily’s eyeswandered to a nearby display shelf where she saw a box marked MEDICATED DOUCHE. When Frankfinished the as-long-as-you-both-shall-live bit, Lily replied, “I...I douche,” and collapsed in a fit ofnervous giggles.
“Then you may kiss the bride.” Frank apparently hadn’t even heard her joke. Heterosexuals were ahumorless lot, Lily decided.
Ben leaned over to kiss Lily’s cheek, but she turned so he caught her on the lips. He was the onewho had said they had to make this look real, after all. The kiss was completely bland, like pecking an oldaunt’s powder-scented jowl.
“Smile!” Doris said after their perfunctory kiss. She snapped a Polaroid of the three of them. Mimiwas chewing on the plastic bridal bouquet. Doris handed the Polaroid to Ben. “Something to show yourgrandchildren.”
“Thanks.” Lily threw the god-awful snapshot in the trash as soon as they were out of the store.
“That was certainly romantic,” Lily muttered, strapping a complaining Mimi into her car seat. “It’s okay,honey,” she cooed to the little girl, “you won’t be in your nasty old car seat much longer, I promise.”
Ben started the car. “So ... ready to go meet the in-laws?”
“Why not? Might as well make this day as surrealistic as possible.” Today had been like a dreamfor Lily, though not in the sense that bubbly straight girls might say their wedding day was like a dream.
Just like in her dreams, today Lily had been performing one bizarre action after another, and as in thedream world, no matter how bizarre her actions were, she had no choice but to perform them.
Ben drove them into the rolling hill country outside of Versailles, where the only businesses werethe beautiful working farms and the ugly corrugated aluminum buildings that housed textile companies.
Ben slowed down when they passed one of these buildings. “Well,” he said, “there’s the source of thefortune you just married into.”