high school. He really set my gaydar off today, but it could just be wishful thinking.”
“Shame on you!” Lily laughed. “A married man!” Ben flashed another Walt Disney grin. “OnSaturday, he and I are playing golf at the country club.”
Lily felt a sudden tingle of fear. “Now, Ben, you have to be discreet about this —”
“Do you honestly think there’s anybody in this town who would think of two men — one of themmarried — playing golf together at the country club as a date?”
“No, I guess not. Excuse my paranoia — it’s just that I know for a fact that there are people out toget me.”
“I promise to be discreet. Hell, there’s probably not even going to be anything to be discreet about.
I don’t even know if this is a date.” He tried to fight the smile creeping across his lips. “But I hope it is.”
CHAPTER 10
Lily was trying to work. She sat at the kitchen table, with a spiral notebook and a sketch pad infront of her. When she was starting a new children’s book, she never knew which would come to her first:the words or the pictures. She rested her chin in her hands and stared into space. She rubbed Mordecai,who was resting under the table, with her bare feet.
Today, neither the words nor the pictures were coming.
But it wasn’t just that she was having an off day. Since the accident, since the Maycombs’ attack,Lily hadn’t made a single sketch or written anything more creative than a grocery list. Her hands, whichin happier days had itched with the urge to create, were now numb and impotent.
The problem with being an artist, Lily thought, is that my work reflects my life. During her dayswith Charlotte, Lily’s happiness had spilled forth onto the pages of her books. Her playful spirit hadperfectly matched the spirits of her young readers.
Now, though, her spirit was far from happy and playful, and she refused to write a children’s bookthat reflected her current state of mind. Lily couldn’t write a children’s book about the all-too-humancapacity for inhumanity, oppression, and injustice. Children would learn about these things soon enoughwithout reading a book about them.
And Mimi, who was now napping so innocently in her crib, might learn about these things all toosoon. She might be taken away from the person who loved her most in the world by the people whothought that person wasn’t fit to live. Lily rested her head in her hands. She tried to take comfort in theMcGillys’ confidence in the hearing’s outcome, but it was confidence she couldn’t share. The McGillys’
lack of concern concerned her.