“Uh-huh?” Spandex acknowledged her.
“Uh ... yeah.” Lily searched for the right words. “I was just wondering, why does this class have tobe about how skinny we can get? Can’t we just exercise to improve our health and feel good instead oftrying to live up to some impossible commercial ideal of beauty?”
Although Spandex was still wearing her smile, she was looking at Lily as though she had beenspeaking to her in Latvian. Finally, Sheila nodded toward Lily and said to the aerobics instructor, “Sheain’t from around here.”
“Oh,” Spandex Dominatrix said, seeming to find Sheila’s comment a satisfactory explanation. “Okay, let’s get started then.”
The soundtrack for their stretching was, as Lily had suspected, moldy top forty. They moved fromthe warmup into a more strenuous step routine. Lily looked around to all the Sheilas and Tracees, whowere clapping and yelling “Whoo-hoo!” and enjoying themselves enormously. Great, Lily thought ...
stepping with the Stepford Wives. She took some comfort in watching the fat woman, who at least lookedappropriately miserable. It wasn’t the exercise that was exhausting Lily; it was the fact that she wassupposed to be perky while she was doing it.
In the car after the ordeal was over, Sheila said, “I can’t believe what you said in class. I thought Iwas gonna die!”
“It’s just cause you’re a newlywed,” Sheila said. “In a few years, you’ll know how important it isto keep them pounds off ... to keep Benny Jack’s eye from wandering.”
“Well,” Lily said, feeling ridiculous even as she said it, “I like to think that Ben wants me for me,and not for my waist size.”
Sheila and Tracee burst out laughing.
“Yeah,” Tracee hooted, “you’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?”
Lily entered the house to find Ben and Ken cuddling on the couch. “It’s getting late,” she barked.
“Y’all can’t be together at all hours of the night. People will talk.”
“Damn,” Ben said, “what’s wrong with you? PMS or something?”
“Ben,” Lily sighed, “how would you like it if you were forced to go out and play a game of tacklefootball with a bunch of straight boys who farted a lot and talked incessantly about pussy?”
“Uh ... well, it sounds like my idea of hell,” Ben said.
“Exactly. And I have just been to that same circle of hell for the opposite sex, with Sheila andTracee as my guides.” She nodded toward Ken. She really did like him, and didn’t want to come off as atotal psychopath. “I’m sorry I was rude, Ken. I enjoyed visiting with you tonight ... before I got suckedinto the vortex of doom. And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check on Mimi, take a shower, and