“Right.”
He waited for a better response.
Might be perverse, but I let him wait.
“And?” he prompted.
“And I love you, too.”
His smile had me smiling back at him as I watched him walk out. This frequent admission of how I felt about him was a whole new experience for me. During my stint in the army, I’d had to hide my true occupation from my fellow soldiers. So because I really couldn’t be myself, I’d formed no long-term emotional attachment to any man during those twenty years. Which left me the emotional equivalent of a robot.
Dawson saw beyond the facade-almost from the moment we’d met-which was part of the reason he’d had me running scared. It took a tragedy-a near mental meltdown-for me to stop finding excuses for why he and I would never work, to see him as the man who wanted me, the real me, no matter what I’d done in the past.
I relied on him-emotionally, physically. Me, Mercy Gunderson, badass former sniper who never needed anyone, needed him. Once I admitted that need to myself-and to him-I honestly felt more in control of my life than I ever had.
• • •
I must’ve been smiling when I wandered into the conference room, because Shay muttered about someone getting lucky. I ignored him and studied my notes. As the newbie agent in the office, I listened a lot because I had a lot to learn. But today I was determined to bring up my preliminary discovery on the unexplained deaths on the reservation over the last two years.
Director Shenker ended his phone call as he sailed into the room. “Morning, all. Agent Turnbull? If you want to get started?”
“Sure. I just got off the phone with the crime lab regarding the samples taken from the victim in the Shooting Star case. No tissue from her attacker was found under her fingernails. No evidence of rape.”
“What about defensive wounds?” Director Shenker asked.
“None. The tox results came back with high levels of digitalis, which is unusual. I did some research. Evidently, its intended use is for heart arrythymia. Given to patients with congestive heart failure.”
“But if you aren’t suffering from congestive heart failure? What does the drug do?”
“Causes irregular heartbeat. And all sorts of other nasty side effects, like vomiting, diarrhea, hallucinations, listlessness… almost always resulting in death. I also learned the foxglove plant is the most widely known source for digitalis. The leaves, the roots, the flowers are all poisonous.”
“Is it a controlled substance?”
“Yes and no. In prescription form it’s controlled. But the plant itself is for sale in greenhouses across the country.”