Pale and weak John opened the door. He didn’t really care about my flowers, but invited me to come in. The remaining part of my brain simply disappeared and I did come in. Some other guy was visiting John. The three of us didn’t have anything to talk about. So we were sitting silently. The other guy was waiting for me to leave, and I was waiting for him to leave. It lasted for an hour. I became the girl who was not fun (but in reality I am a lot of fun). I realized this and finally left. Apparently John remembered me as a boring girl, because he never asked me out again.
Question 5. He writes to me, but he doesn’t offer to meet
I am 54 and I want to get married (this would be my second marriage). So I am trying to find somebody online. Last May a met a French man online. We still talk a lot on Skype and write to each other. I feel something electric toward him. Moreover, I have never heard love confessions like his. He often writes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that he is ready to talk to me on Skype every evening. I told him that if he wasn’t ready to come visit me, then our relationship wouldn’t have any future. He promised to solve this within two months.
Two months later I started the conversation again. He immediately became agitated. He said that he would be able to take time off only in February and booked tickets to come. On the one hand, I am afraid that closer to February something will happen and he won’t come. So I have been waiting in vain. On the other hand, he means a lot to me. I would like to continue our relationship. I am afraid to issue an ultimatum – either you come, or we will break up. Our communication is virtual. As of right now, nobody is obliged to do anything. What would you advise in this situation?
Answer. I recommend to stop thinking about this man. Don’t make up this love story with a man whom you’ve never seen before and whose behavior is a little strange. Calm down and start dating. You don’t have any strength to start a new relationship because of all your thoughts are about this French man and possible marriage. Is he as faithful as you are? Think of him as one of many pleasant men. If he comes, it will be nice. But let him initiate this visit without any promises from your side.
Question 6. How to attract his attention?
There is this guy in the night club I often go to. I like this guy a lot. He works there. He is a dancer. We have many common friends. That is how we met. I can’t watch him impassively when he is on stage. Sometimes we dance together, but only when I invite him. I confessed to him that I liked him a lot. After that he hardly notices me, but we still communicate. By the way, I know that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I need your advice. What should I do?