A woman should be self-sufficient. The biggest difference between men and women is that men do not wait for women to call them. Instead of that they do something else. They watch racing, invent medicine to cure HIV, read about stock pricing in the Frankfurter Allgemeine or workout. And the most important thing is that they do it not because they want to be distracted from waiting for a phone call but they do it because they want to do it.
Question 1. Men get acquainted with you, but they don’t want to have a relationship
I didn’t like those men who were chasing me. Although, thinking about them and knowing now who they have become over the years, I can’t stop wondering why I was so silly and why I didn’t like them. I picked a father of my child myself. I liked him right away, but he wasn’t one of the men chasing me. I still didn’t get married. And I don’t want anymore. I don’t know how to be married. But I do want to be happy. I’ve had men propose to me on multiple occasions. As a matter of fact, I do attract men for some reason. That is until we start dating. And then either I break up with him because I actually don’t like him, even though he treats me well; or he breaks up with me and then I suffer.
There are exceptions. Once I was absolutely happy for four years, having an affair with a married man. That was my second love. He didn’t even think about getting a divorce because I loved him more, and for him it wasn’t the first time he cheated on his wife. It was his lifestyle. He treated me very well and never gave a reason for me to become addicted to him because he was always near. Such a happy exception happened to me. After a very painful breakup I was getting back to normal for a year. Then for several years I lived without anything going on in my personal life, mindlessly and calmly. This is how it was until last year I met a man in the street. Three months of irregular communication led to an addiction to him. And then he disappeared. He got divorced and then got married again. But not to me.
That short affair made me want to have a love life again. But there is nowhere to meet men. So I started meeting them online. I have had a couple of dates, but I haven’t found anything stable. It is disgusting. It looks like I can get acquainted and attract somebody online, I can arrange a meeting and have a date with him. But how do I make a long lasting relationship out of it? I have several online options right now. One of them is not even married and really wants woman’s affection. I haven’t seen him yet. I am afraid that nothing good will happen. I do call him though to vent out and he comforts me. I am so confused!